Beat This, Self Celebrating Freak

Well, if the sign says it...

Beat This, Mediaeval Crossdressing Freak Drawing

OK, so that was a really old drawing of a "freak of nature". Probably the result of generations if inbreeding in royal lines. If you look for freak of nature this chick shows up like a million times. So, she must be better than that drawing.

Beat This, Been There, Done That

Whats better than a mustache, albeit a long one, on a man? Thats right, a beard on a woman! (Yes... it is a woman. It is. Not just a man dressed up. Really.)

Beat this, Boring Mustaches

So, you want mustaches do you. Here is a stache with khutspe.

Beat This, Boring Show

Why does Magnum P.I. beat Hawaii Five-0? I'll give you that it did have a great theme song. There are many reasons, but to name one -- It had the right island, it just needed more mustaches.

Beat this, Wannabe Cops

Now here's a show where the cops are cops and the CSIs are in the background. Where not every episode is solved by the phrase, "FREEZE!...ZOOM!...ENHANCE! And I might add, it also has a kick'n original theme song.(Man I LOVE that song)

Beat This, New Low

Beat this, Doctored Man Eater

Let's talk about a real man eater, not a doctored up "man eater" that is really probably an American man killer with a cats face pasted ever so skillfully over his face.

Beat This, Last Century

Cats are still ahead.

Beat this, Harmless Sedated Cats

Those cats are so sedated they could be taken out by a mouse, or even a squirrel.

Beat This, Cats Strike Back

What tastes better than cheap chinese food? Oh, I know, free idiot.

Beat this, Doctored Digitization

Well, if we are going to venture in to the realm of pictures altered for substance, this is a much more interesting proposition.

Beat This, Mis-spelling Fool

Is Mis-spelling a word?

Beat this, Weird Name that doesn't sound right anyway

Like anyone cares about that stupid spelling error. Here is a spelling error that matters.

Beat This, Get Your Facts Straight...

Factual errors: Worcester, Massachusetts is incorrectly spelled "Worchester" in the film

Other than this error, I love the show, its my all time favorite...

Beat this, Convenient Killer

With friends like that who needs executioners.

Beat This, Quick Sell-Out

When I went to the official South Park site for some research, I didn't have to look hard for who could be bigger than the mighty Comedy Central. At the top was... McD's! I'm lovin' it

Beat this, pompous Huffmeister

South Park character beats real celebrity behaving badly.

Beat This, Soft Touch

What beats a nice Aussie? How about one that is willing to get in the news? No, not that one, I like Braveheart too much.

Beat this, Short Man Syndrome

Let's see what's beat a short egomaniac? How about girl that stared in your worst movie and ...

Beat This, Shoveling Peasants

I will pay for it to be built, but I'm not going dig with you guys, even in a suit...

Beat this, Scientologist Feminazi

Lets see, what beats a feminazi? Oh yea, Scientology!

Beat This, Dainty Bowler

New Black? Maybe... But you tell it to her, because after Carmine was murdered, the bowler has continued her assault on crime, vowing to find his killer...

Beat this, Hoplessly Last Year

Shame on you. Black is so last year. Haven't you heard pink is the new black.

Beat This, Panty Hoser

You may have thought you won the battle, but, little did we all know back then, censors won the war...

From Wikipedia:
As a sex symbol

Daisy Duke was both the main female protagonist and the sex symbol on The Dukes of Hazzard. She frequently wore revealing clothing such as bikinis and tank tops. Her trademark was the Daisy Dukes, the name given to the short cutoff blue jeans that Daisy often wore.

Because network censors believed that her shorts alone would be too revealing, Daisy (along with other female characters) always wore pantyhose underneath her shorts. It may have had the opposite effect: The official Daisy Duke poster reportedly outsold those featuring the era's other sex symbols, Farrah Fawcett and Raquel Welch.

Beat this, Fake Daisy

Real Daisy beats fake Daisy every time! Especially if she is all tweaked. Plus the General Lee has the doors welded shut. None of this sissy opening the doors stuff.

Beat This, Caricaturizing Is Not a Crime

From awfulplasicsurgery.com, certain distortions can be real...

Beat this, Accidentally Distorted

Since that last one wasn't even a image link I suppose anything would beat it. But if you are going to tweak the rules, at least try not to tweak the "picture ".

Beat This, Pixelated Pig

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                  ,'   ,'       /  ,(  ,/)/ 
                 /           ,',;-,-),;(' 
                /      __.-',--'  ,,|/  `-.__ 
               /  ,      ),',;;  (O)(        `--. 
     ,.----.__/_,'      // /O)\  `.  \--'`-.     ) 
   ,' __         _,.-'  ,/,-     c.' /  `.  `  ,/   .-. 
  / ,'         ,'  _,-' (,,-\  -==*'/     )   (      ) \ 
 ','      ,  ,'  ,'     ,'--`\-.___/.    ,   ( `-..-'   ) 
 |      ,'   |          ``'\  \ ,    `.       `.      ,' 
 | /   /      \        ,' \ )- )      |            --' ) 
  ||  | .      .      (   //  /       |   ---._      ,' 
   `. '. `-.          |  //  |        |   ,--' `-.-.' 
     `--:._ `-.._     | //   |     Y  | ,' 
                 `'-- )'/    |   ,'  /-' 
                     / /     | ,'   / 
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       -hrr-        ` `.__ ,'      ( 
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                        ,- \ .  /\  ,\ 
                       '    \  /  )/  `. 
                       `.    )/  //     `.

Nice picture...

Beat this, Dieing Culture

Modern American culture offers a far graver threat to the Muslim world, bound up as it still is with the mores of traditional society, than ever did Weimar decade to traditional Jews. When President George W Bush hectors the Muslim world on behalf of the American ideal of freedom, traditional Muslims look askance at him. By Muslim standards, what sort of parent is he? Mothers in the Muslim world slit their daughters' throats for less than Bush's twin daughters Barbara and Jenna have done. For example, young Barbara Bush showers in the same-sex bathrooms at Yale with men in the next stall, the New York Post reported on November 3. In most Muslim countries she would be a candidate for an honor killing. If that is what the president means by freedom, most Muslims will have none of it. Move all the Jews in Israel to North Dakota, and disaffection in the Muslim world will remain.

Beat This, Scary Lady

Historischer Hintergrund
Über die Entstehungsgeschichte des orientalischen Tanzes (Bauchtanz) gibt es viele Vermutungen, aber keine wissenschaftlichen Erkenntnisse. Allgemein wird angenommen, dass dieser Tanz aus dem Fruchtbarkeitsritus entstanden ist und zu den ältesten Tänzen der Welt gehört. Von Indien über den Orient bis hin zum Balkan und dem Mittelmeerraum finden sich immer wieder Zeugnisse von rituellen oder religiösen Tänzen, die sich mit der Verehrung des ewig Weiblichen und der Muttergöttin befassen. Wie groß die Ähnlichkeit der ursprünglichen Tänze zum heutigen Bauchtanz ist, kann nicht mehr belegt werden, unverkennbar sind jedoch die lustbetonten und sinnlichen Bewegungen des Beckens und der Hüfte des orientalischen Tanzes bis heute. Das Interesse am orientalischen Tanz ist nahezu ungebrochen: Etwa 60.000 Frauen beschäftigen sich derzeit allein in Deutschland hobbymäßig mit orientalischem Tanz und es findet kaum eine Feier statt, auf der nicht eine orientalische Tänzerin auftritt. Lassen auch Sie sich vom Zauber dieses Kostüms anstecken und verwandeln Sie sich mit ihm in eine exotische Tänzerin.

Beat this, Fetish Fanatic

While researching Bono, I found this little know and not fully verified fact about Bono. He has a weakness for Belly Dancers. At least it says so on the internet so it must be true. At least it explains this girl dancing for them on tour.

Beat This, Bono Lover

Optimism = Seeing reality and putting a good spin on it. I'm in favor of that. I'm talking about taking off your rose colored glasses that keep you from seeing the reality that is so obviously there...

Beat this, puss peddling skeptic

Just because something isn't perfect doesn't mean it isn't good.

Beat This, Easily Misled

Although I love MythBusters as much as anyone, I would hardly call the entertainment that they dish out in the name of science a "healthy serving of reality". And I like Discovery, so I don't think they have an agenda, but back to my earlier post, they are still trying to get us, so watch what you post here.

Beat this, Hopelessly missinformed

No, you are absolutely correct they are not paranoid necessarily, they are paranoid unnecessarily. :) So, the only thing that can help them is a healthy serving of reality.

Beat This, Propaganda Believer

Just because some people think the government may be covering up things, doesn't mean they are paranoid... necessarily

Beat this, Paranoid Cynic

While it is understood that Hicks died of pancreatic cancer, I believe the real cause of his death was his negative cynicism. And even more than that, his paranoia.
Again from wikipedia
Hicks became convinced that the government initiated the destruction of the compound by setting it on fire (he pointed to footage of a tank allegedly shooting fire into the compound as evidence) and then covered-up its actions. He also expressed disappointment with the various overseas bombing campaigns ordered by President Clinton and the Warren Commission explanation of the Kennedy assassination.

So, while it would be easy to say that cancer killed him, I believe that paranoia coupled with his cynicism actually ate him up, slapped him around a bit and eventually beat him.

Beat This, Plagiarizing Jokester

From wikipedia...
Accusations of Plagiarism
For many years, Leary had been friends with fellow comedian Bill Hicks. However, when Hicks heard Leary's 1993 release No Cure For Cancer he was upset and claimed Leary was stealing his material. This was due to the similarity in topics covered and some of Hicks' punchlines, particularly those from Hicks' releases of Sane Man (1989) and Dangerous (1990), allegedly having variants in Leary's act. The friendship ended abruptly as a result. Leary has said he wanted to patch things up before Hicks died in 1994, though this confession happened several years after Hicks' death.

Beat this, Stinky Nuns

Beat This, Sissy Nuns

Badder Nuns

Beat this, nun lover

Tickle My Funny Bone about Naughty Nun and Naughty nun beats soggy cold nuns any day.

Beat This, But Use Snow Not Bullets

Religion will cure the poisons in our society, especially ones like those on that album cover...

Beat This, Old School

Its a Better Beat...

It All Starts Here... Beat This!